I opened the door to leave and heard, "AMY!" I rolled my eyes, turned around, flipped the light back on and went to the side of Eli's bed. I leaned over and started down the line, "Buenas Noches Patricio, Perrito, Patito y Patito amarillo," kissing each one. I looked at Eli to make sure I had met her expectations for the night so she would sleep. I could see the beginning of tears from when she had thought that I wasn't going to come back and kiss the whole zoo she has living with her.
What did I think? I was going to run out of love? That I had used up my day's capacity?
I realize that I have already posted the following C.S. Lewis thought, but it is such a good reminder for me.
"Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket - safe, dark, motionless, airless - it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”
"And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us." Romans 5:5
Isn't that awesome? I don't have to worry about running out of love. God wants us to freely love and freely give, to be vulnerable, to love so much it hurts and then to love some more. Love never has been mine to keep or decide who to lavish it upon.
Today I had a conversation with Fede, hands down one of the most caring kids I have ever met:
Me: Fede, do you ever get tired of loving people?
Fede: What do you mean tired of loving?
Me: I mean, do you ever think that you are going to run out of love, or that you just don't have it in you to love another person?
Fede: (long pause) I don't get tired. You just...love.
"Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren. But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him? My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth." 1 John 3:16-18 (KJV)
8 comments:
Reading this post made me think of one of my favorite hymns. The Love of God: the last verse-
Could we with ink the ocean fill,
And were the skies of parchment made,
Were every stalk on earth a quill,
And every man a scribe by trade,
To write the love of God above,
Would drain the ocean dry.
Nor could the scroll contain the whole,
Though stretched from sky to sky.
O love of God, how rich and pure!
How measureless and strong!
It shall forevermore endure
The saints’ and angels’ song.
And to think we are called to love like this. John 15:9
Thanks for the reminder Ami-- it gives me such excitement and joy to think of the vastness of God's love and the ways it can be used in our lives...
love you :)
Amy-
So thankful the Lord has filled you to overflowing with His great love and compassion. It shows!
Glad for your blog to remind us to stop and show it to all we pass by.
Love,
B&J
Amy ~
This is such a good example of how we as adults tend to think we are so busy and weary and that we can just skip over some of the little, not so important things, but kids percieve the little things so much differently than we do. Glad you found the strenght to go back even though you thought it wasn't necessary. She will remember that you went back!
We're looking forward to seeing you in a few weeks!
Love you,
Todd and Teresa
Hi Amesey,
What a touching post. I remember an adorable little girl who was the most excellent "staller" at bedtime. She, too, slept with a bed full of animals. One night, she knocked on her parents' door shortly after going to bed because she had a big problem. There were so many stuffed animals in her bed that she told her parents (with real tears) that "there is no room for me in my bed!"
Aaahh, the special memories of raising children and watching them grow. Watching them grow into adults that love, nurture and encourage others. Such a special blessing!
We love you so much,
Dad & Mom
Ames, thanks for the reminder.
te quiero,
carissa
Amy...i don't think i've read your blog before, but pepe gave me the link when i was telling him about how sweet i thought Fede was.
I really did sense a love in that boy that made me want to pass it on. My friendship built with him on this trip is one of my most treasured. I would sit and watch him and wonder what great plans that God has for him.
one night when Uriel, Fede and I were talking about God. Uriel asked if I was a Christian and when I repented (age 12). I then asked him if he believed in God, the Bible and the Truth it contained. He was hesitant and said he had a hard time with it. I turned to Fede, and he got this big smile on his face and said in his dramatic way, "I am 12 now and I believe in God and the Bible and I will repent soon, because of how much I love him" (or something close to that.) I could only smile.
those kids can teach me so much.
you are blessed to be with them every day.
TE AMO MUCHO AMI!
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